A rabbi was giving a workshop on Scripture to Maryknollers in Africa some years ago. As part of his visit, the missioners showed him around Tanzania: Mt. Kilimanjaro, wildlife in the Serengeti, and of course, the wonderful hospitality of a Tanzanian family. As they sat down to dinner, Father John Sivalon, who was Maryknoll’s regional superior for Africa at the time, suddenly realized a potential embarrassment for the rabbi and the host family. The family had prepared a delicious meal — of pork. The Maryknoller gently whispered to the women who had prepared the food that, like Muslims, Jews do not eat pork.
Chagrined, the hosts quickly took away the offending dish and were about to prepare a kosher meal of chicken when the rabbi stopped them. It’s true that Jews do not eat pork, the rabbi explained, but the Torah also teaches that grateful reception of hospitality can override the proscription against eating pork.
Here, like Rabbi Jesus of Nazareth, a real-life situation involving human interaction best illustrated the teaching of commandments. Human beings, created in the image and likeness of God, take precedence over the law. Or as Saint Paul wrote: “For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement, namely, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Galatians 5:14).
Many of us, including some Maryknoll missioners, know how to be generous givers but are stymied by how to graciously receive gifts. We pride ourselves in being thoughtful benefactors bestowing gifts on others, but we balk when people want to show their appreciation to us. Jesus exemplified the opposite of this when, to the vociferous disapproval and high umbrage of the disciples, he allowed a woman — a woman! — to anoint his head with oil.
In the Gospel of Saint John, Peter refuses to let Jesus wash his feet. That is, until Jesus explained that unless Peter learned to receive this humble gesture and accept this simple act, he would have no part in the salvation about to be bestowed on the human race: the sacrificial gift of Jesus on the cross.
Gift giving and receiving has long flummoxed us in the comparatively affluent setting of the United States. We “regift” items we don’t really want or need, or we stash away things we don’t intend to use. When Grandma comes to visit, we look frantically for that truly hideous Christmas sweater she knitted especially for us.
On the part of the receiver, there is no greater expression of gratitude than to use a gift to the fullest, even if it wears out or breaks. Conversely, there is no worse disappointment for the giver than when a receiver never bothers to even unwrap, much less use, the present.
When I served as a missioner in Korea, I noticed that one of many areas of etiquette where Koreans and Americans differ is in gift giving. Koreans are taught from childhood to receive a present with both hands. This honors the giver by demonstrating the gift’s importance.
I had questioned whether Koreans would accept receiving Communion in the hand. To my surprise, they took to it readily as an instance of accepting a gift with two open hands. Indeed, when receiving the Eucharist, nothing is more important.
How do our practices of giving and receiving affect our approach to the gift of all gifts — the Eucharist? What about our approach to the gifts of health, faith and life itself?
Perhaps most importantly, we can ask ourselves what we do with the gifts we have already received. How can we best accept and use the grace that God gives us, every second of every day?
Featured Image: Siblings in Guatemala open a Box of Joy, a package of small gifts donated by Cross Catholic Outreach of Boca Raton, Florida. (CNS/Cross Catholic Outreach/Guatemala)
